As I look back at 2010 I think I have to say that it feels like the year that "got by". It is with some heaviness that I admit that especially as I look at the posts on my blog. I didn't write much this year, and my blog is not the only place that shows the lack of my written words. It feels like the year "got by" as it moved quickly and I am left feeling that I never caught up. It feels like the year that "got by" as I feel that there were many moments that I felt like I was just "getting by". There are many more places that I feel this phrase could be applied and with that, I feel like there was a lot that I missed out on. Last night, our family of 3 shared a quiet evening at home for New Years Eve. After Wyatt was asleep, Darin and I spent time reflecting on the past year and dreaming about 2011. I went to bed feeling hopeful and more aware of the places that I have been hanging in that feel tattered and torn and desperately need to be touched by God. This morning I awoke and it seemed as if Satan was at me immediately.
I am acutely aware today that Satan is real and present and I am completely in need of God. I cannot face this upcoming year on my own...and my hope is that I will not try! I hope that you will see and experience me this year in ways where you will know that I am walking hand in hand with my Father.
3 comments:
"I hope that you will see and experience me this year in ways where you will know that I am walking hand in hand with my Father." Yes, I hope I/we get to see that part of your life ;-)
Your honesty here is inviting. I'm looking forward to being a part of your life with more depth this year.
"I cannot face this upcoming year on my own...and my hope is that I will not try!"
Me too. I'm glad we can walk together.
I love you my dear friend.
I'm stoked that you updated your blog and really hope to get to read more of your written words in 2011. It's one of the ways I can still experience you amidst the distance.
I can relate to the "getting by." That was pretty much the entire year for me until a couple of months ago. In the wake of Lu's birth followed by Chris's deployment, I think I was in survival mode most of the year. And then, like you said, I think I just got so sick of myself and how I was living and I knew I was completely in need of God if I wanted anything to change.
Chris and I were talking about what our words were for 2010 and mine was "wrung." As in, all wrung-out, as in put through the wringer. Sapped dry and left withered and weary. For me, it seems I needed to get there before I truly longed to be filled with Him again.
I can't wait to see what He's gonna do in and through you this year, B. Love you!
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