When I arrived in Kalamazoo, the first 3 weeks were spent settling in, breathing, and adjusting to the newness of life. Our friends had generously housed D for the month prior to mine and Wyatt's arrival and they were continuing to house our family once we arrived. Within 3 weeks, we had located a rental home and had the day set up for delivery of all the contents of our house. Moving day was cold and rainy. D was working and T took the day off to watch Wyatt and I was stationed at the house, checking items off the list and directing the men with each box and piece of furniture. 8 hours later, they were finished and I sat on the couch, soaking everything in, watching out the window and hoping they would be able to back the moving truck out of the extremely muddy driveway.
As my title suggests, this is all so different and new for me. There is so much for me to ponder and feel as the days, weeks, and months have unfolded. Fortunately, I am very present and able to feel all that I feel even when I don't have to words to express those feelings.
God has provided for us AND we are very nervous about how he will continue to provide. God has given my heart and my body quiet and rest AND I have been lonely and restless. God has...and I am still...
As I sit here today, I am very aware that there are roughly 14 weeks until sweet baby Sawyer will arrive. I do not have a job. At this point, I am beginning to wonder if a job in physical therapy will even be what God has planned for this season of my life. There is a peace though today, in this moment, believing that He will provide.
I believe I am in for discovering His Peace in a new, different way than I ever have before.
1 comments:
For some reason, I have a lot of tears after reading this post. Probably because God has done a wonder in my heart in the last few months in regards to His peace too. It pokes at the longing in me of missing you and wishing for face-to-face conversation where we can talk about where God is in our own journeys. I know there is the phone, but I miss your face. And I miss your tear-filled eyes. What a gift it is though, to be feeling, soaking things in and pondering. We are alive and present and it feels special and lovely to be in similar places with God.
I love that you are aware of God's peace and presence in this season of life. I hear your nervousness and I hear you claiming the places where God has provided and resting in that too.
I'm glad that you are getting to rest and just BE. It's been a long time coming for you.
Love you. Miss you.
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