Sporadic, at best

My writing this year has been sporadic, at best. It has been a full year with much to write about and yet I chose to stay in my head quite a bit. Sometimes it can feel so overwhelming for me to share all that is in my heart on my blog. I do realize that I do not need to share ALL that is in my heart but that is when the battle occurs in my mind as to what I really do want to share.

I have felt the desire to write this past week and I began to "ramp up" so to speak. I was laughing with D and T the other night about what "ramping" up looks like for me. Have you noticed? I start to comment more on posts that I read. Then, I actually log onto my blog and make the necessary changes...you know, knock off links on the roll that are completely inactive, change how old I am and any other details in the "about me" section that are incorrect. Then, I pick a new template. This time, I found the tab that said "celebration" and found this amazing star which I thought was just perfect for this Christmas season! Finally, I actually write out my post. It is somewhat humorous and there is some curiosity there for me as well as I reflect on the lack of my written words in 2011.

All that being said, I desire to write more especially this month.

Today has officially been 2 months since Wyatt and I rushed out the door at my parents house and got on the plane with 6 bags/strollers/car seat items to join D in Michigan. I remember that day like it was yesterday and still so much has happened in that time that the day feels so far away. The day started early for me. I had not yet finished packing and I quickly realized that everything I had was not going to fit in the remaining spaces of the bags that I had planned as carry-ons or checked bags. My dad was pushing Wyatt on the swing in the backyard and my mom was trying to come up with creative ways to help me get the remainder of our items on the plane. I snapped at her in the middle of the tension and quickly realized that it was not how I wanted to engage with her at all. She was gracious and understanding.

Eventually, all of our things were packed and we started to load up the car to head to the airport. As they were all outside, I walked around my parents house to check for any items that might have been left behind but honestly, I was walking through each room to soak in my memories and cry the tears that were reserved for this time. In that moment my heart was so full of mixed emotions that it could have exploded. I was preparing to leave San Antonio and all that it holds goodbye AND I was preparing to join my husband in Michigan where our family would be together again.

The drive to the airport went fast and before I knew it, all our bags were on the curb and my dad was parking the car as my mom and I struggled to get everything to the ticket counter. Eventually we were all checked in and I stood there, holding my son in my arms, I looked at the tears welling up in my mom's eyes. It was time. Time to say goodbye. Our tears flowed freely as we hugged and exchanged those last precious words. Wyatt looked on and asked my dad why he didn't have any... observant little guy. My dad responded that his would come later. As my parents turned to leave, Wyatt called out for them. They smiled and waved and we walked on.

The hours in the air were as good as could be expected. Wyatt was a great helper and trooper...a surprising blessing. My heart held both sadness and anticipation as we journeyed on. When we finally arrived in Grand Rapids, I could feel my heart racing and felt like we couldn't move fast enough to get to D. Then around the corner, I saw him. His smile was BIG! He had recently had his hair cut and was nicely dressed and looking quite handsome. As I saw him, a rush of peace washed over me. For that moment, nothing else mattered. We were together, as a family.